The Art of Spending Money: What Thanksgiving Reminds Us About True Wealth

I recently finished Morgan Housel's latest book, The Art of Spending Money: Simple Choices for a Richer Life, and it sparked a conversation that feels especially relevant as we gather for Thanksgiving this week.

Housel, bestselling author of The Psychology of Money, explores how most of us don't really know how to spend money well. We chase things that impress others but leave us cold. Or we save endlessly, afraid to spend on what would actually make life better.

His central insight is profound yet simple: "Wealth is always a two-part equation: it's what you have minus what you want."

Think about that for a moment.

You could have $10 million but want $20 million, and you'd feel poor. Or you could have $1 million, want exactly what that provides, and feel genuinely wealthy. It's not the number that matters; it's the gap between what you have and what you think you need.

The Thanksgiving Connection

This week, as we sit around tables with family and friends, we're reminded of what truly makes life rich.

Not the size of our investment accounts (though we work hard on those), but the experiences we create, the relationships we nurture, and the health we maintain.

Housel makes a critical distinction between external and internal benchmarks for spending.

An external benchmark is buying something to get attention, mainly from strangers. The fancy car. The designer handbag. The house that makes neighbors wonder how much you paid for it.

An internal benchmark is spending money on things that genuinely make you happier—like having friends and family over, or taking a vacation where you can detach from work and spend time with loved ones.

As Housel puts it in an interview: "Buying a bigger house might make you happier if it makes it easier to have your friends and family over. But it's the friends and family that are making you happy. That's the internal benchmark."

The irony? Many people work tirelessly to accumulate wealth but never figure out how to use it to build a better life.

What Thanksgiving Teaches Us About Spending Wisely

This holiday exemplifies what Housel calls spending on internal benchmarks.

You're not gathering around a Thanksgiving table to impress anyone or post the perfect Instagram photo (though you might do that too). You're there because connection, gratitude, and shared meals genuinely make life better.

Housel warns that "the best spending often looks invisible (living in a modest home you love, cultivating friendships, preserving mental health), things you can't display but deeply feel."

Think about your happiest Thanksgiving memories.

They probably involve laughter, conversation, and maybe a legendary family disagreement about politics or football, not the thread count of the tablecloth or the cost of the wine.

Three Questions Worth Asking This Thanksgiving

As you reflect on the year, Housel's framework offers some valuable questions:

1. Are you spending on things that actually make you happier, or things you think should make you happier?

Many people upgrade to bigger houses, fancier cars, or luxury goods, assuming they'll bring joy, only to find that the happiness fades quickly while the payments don't.

There's a phenomenon psychologists call "hedonic adaptation"—we quickly get used to new circumstances and return to our baseline level of happiness. That new car smell wears off. The excitement of the bigger house fades after a few months.

But experiences with people you love? Those create memories that compound over time, not depreciate.

2. Are you saving for a specific future you want, or just saving because that's what you're "supposed" to do?

Money is a tool, not a scoreboard.

As Housel notes, you need "a very well-calibrated sense of your future regret." Volatility in the stock market is only a risk to the extent that you're going to regret it at some point in the future.

If you're saving without purpose, you're likely sacrificing present happiness for a future that may never arrive—or that you'll be too old or tired to enjoy when it does.

3. Would spending more on experiences with people you love give you a better return than another year of maximum savings?

This isn't about being reckless; it's about recognizing that the highest return on investment isn't always financial.

Sometimes the best use of money is buying time with family. Hiring help so you're not exhausted on weekends. Taking that trip you've been postponing. Saying yes to the dinner invitation instead of worrying about the cost.

The Parable We Often Forget

Housel references the parable of the Mexican fisherman who works only a few hours a day, then spends time with family and friends.

An American businessman visiting the village advises him to work hard for 10 years, invest, and grow his business. Eventually, the businessman explains, he can retire and work only a few hours a day, spending time with family and friends.

The fisherman looks confused. "But that's what I do now."

The irony is lost on the businessman, but it shouldn't be lost on us.

We see this pattern constantly in wealth management. Clients work incredibly hard to reach "enough," but they never actually define what "enough" is, so they keep chasing more. The goalpost keeps moving.

They tell themselves, "Once I have $2 million, I'll relax." Then it becomes $3 million. Then $5 million.

At what point do they actually live the life they've been building toward?

This Thanksgiving, Give Thanks for What Money Can't Buy

As we sit down for Thanksgiving this week, here's what we hope you'll be grateful for:

Health: No amount of money can replace it, and every dollar spent maintaining it is money well spent. The gym membership you use. The quality food. The preventive care. These aren't expenses—they're investments in the foundation of everything else.

Relationships: The people around your table are your true wealth. They're there when portfolios drop. They celebrate when things go well. They make the hard days bearable and the good days memorable.

Freedom: The ability to choose how you spend your time and with whom. This is what money should ultimately buy—not stuff, but options. The option to say no to work that drains you. The option to say yes to opportunities that excite you.

Peace of mind: Knowing you're financially secure enough to focus on what matters. Not worrying about bills. Not stressed about retirement. Not keeping up with anyone else's spending. Just secure.

As Housel writes, "the most valuable return on investment is peace of mind, why expectations matter more than income, and why doing well with money has less to do with spreadsheets and more to do with self-awareness."

Our Role in Your Story

At Fox Hill, we manage your investments not because portfolio balances are the ultimate goal, but because financial security creates freedom.

Freedom to spend time with people you love.

Freedom to pursue work that matters.

Freedom to be generous.

Freedom to build the life you actually want.

We handle the spreadsheets and the market volatility and the rebalancing and the tax strategies so that you can focus on what Housel reminds us actually matters: using your wealth to live better, not just accumulate more.

This Thanksgiving, we're grateful for the trust you place in us to steward your wealth. And we're reminded that our job isn't just helping you accumulate more—it's helping you use what you have to live better.

From all of us at Fox Hill Wealth Management, Happy Thanksgiving.

May your table be full and your gratitude even fuller.